The Everyday Awesome Project

51: Dream Lab Your Life

• Polly Mertens & Samantha Pruitt • Season 1 • Episode 51

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What if you could design the life you've always dreamed of, starting today? Join us as Polly and Sam come together in person to explore the transformative power of dreaming and how it goes beyond mere fantasies or nighttime musings. Drawing from insights in a TED talk and Stanford's innovative Dream Lab, we delve into the art of consciously designing your life and turning dreams into reality. We challenge you to shed limiting beliefs and seize the continuous opportunities for growth, emphasizing that dreaming is the crucial first step in any personal transformation.

Ever felt pressured to find that one all-consuming passion? You're not alone. Discover how the notion of needing a singular passion to succeed is a myth, as most people fall into the 80% who haven't pinpointed one. Instead of succumbing to this pressure, start by getting curious about three potential futures: an enhanced version of your current life, an alternative career path if your current one falters, and a wild card scenario that speaks to your dreams and aspirations. This approach broadens your horizons, offering a fresh perspective on personal and professional development without the stress of defining a single passion.

Imagine a work life centered on meaning and self-expression rather than societal expectations. By exploring new life paths and embracing a "wild card life," you can redefine what work means to you. We delve into the importance of experimentation, or "prototyping," as a tool for discovering these possibilities. Through engaging conversations and interactions, life's potential unfolds, and we urge you to embrace spontaneity and intuition. Curiosity and community support are key as you embark on this journey, creating an environment where big dreams are celebrated and nurtured. Let this episode be your creative incubator where ideas can flourish, reminding you that the true essence of life is in how it feels, not just how it looks.

Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt

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Samantha Pruitt:

hey, superstars, welcome back polly here, sam pruitt too. What's up?

Polly Mertens :

beautiful humans, god samantha pruitt, we're in the same room again what on earth is happening right now. This is awesome did y'all feel the?

Samantha Pruitt:

earthquake here we are.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, it's just, it's different for us when we get to be in person.

Samantha Pruitt:

And you're back in the desert.

Polly Mertens :

I'm back in the desert, I can look out the window right now and I see the mountains, the beautiful mountains of the coast.

Samantha Pruitt:

So good Fall in the desert.

Samantha Pruitt:

You know what, guys? So today's episode is Dream Lab your Life. We've just been getting towards the end of the year.

Samantha Pruitt:

We're recording this in November. We've just been, you know, getting towards the end of the year. We're recording this in November and you know starting to think about, you know, plans for the new year and just you know a lot of things in our own life that you know continue to dream, right, and noticing when people stop dreaming, and so we just were having conversations around who do we know that's dreaming or isn't dreaming, or things are showing up in their life and they can't have the dream that they thought they had, and you know it has to change, right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, and I think when we use the word dream, people might misinterpret that. Okay.

Polly Mertens :

So clarify.

Samantha Pruitt:

Right, because people have dreams at night and they have nightmares and all these things, right, they think about the dream world as being maybe an alternate world or whatever maybe an alternate world or whatever. Or they think of dreams as this like you know, way far out there, pipe dream, moonshot, blah, blah, blah kind of dream as a concept and what we're saying is dreaming is a normal part of everybody's life. We're humans, so this is an opportunity that is unique to humans, by the way, and we really want to encourage people to be doing it on the regular as part of their regular inventory or inquiry into their own life, putting the dream opportunity into that, working it in.

Polly Mertens :

You know, the start of our year, the start of our whole podcast, was on that book, the Pivot Year, right, and it's really when you have moments, whether they be big moments, you know major transitions in life you know we were talking before we hit record about. You know, women, men, we all go through periods or phases. You know your son's going through that 20 to 30 period, right. Or you know we went through our 40 to 50 period, you know, so you could have those or kids move out phase or, uh, you retire retirement right.

Polly Mertens :

You know, and we talked about where you had the first career and then you had an encore career and then you fall off the cliff. Or some people fall off the cliff and like they get to quote retirement, or they get to an age where there's still you know room to grow so many years left of their life.

Polly Mertens :

Right, right, right, right, yeah, and so what we wanted to have a conversation around. I had shared with you a beautiful ted talk and so you know we'll share in the notes about this ted talk, um, where the gentleman who founded at the stanford university I think they call it the d lab designing your life dream lab, and they talk about how, um, they teach it for business, they teach it for business. They teach it for design. You know, like creating software, creating manufacturing, whatever, but they're like the fun part and why people come back is like for your life right, designing your life in a dream lab.

Polly Mertens :

Hell yes, sign me up for that. We're like. We're on the next bus to Stanford, Literally.

Samantha Pruitt:

Can we go on Monday Registering immediately?

Polly Mertens :

Or we want to start teaching that class, I think that just sounds so fun to be in that space.

Polly Mertens :

I love what you were saying a minute ago about you know we are the only species on the planet, I think, that does this. We are able to take thought form and turn it in and manifest it into physical reality and manifest it into physical. You know reality, like the chairs you're, we're sitting on the microphone, the camera, the whatever. You're listening to this, on the computers in the world, the houses that we live in. Those were ideas, right, and we, as humans, have the ability to use our imagination.

Polly Mertens :

Some of us use it more readily than others, and this talk that we want to, this conversation we want to engage you in, is doing it with purpose, like they've come up with a process, you know, of how to go from oh, wouldn't that be nice? To wow, what would be nice. And then how can I start to experience that? Or how can I bring that into my life instead of just leave it on the shelf like someday land where dreams go to die. It's like, no, let's bring it into reality, or the ones that we want to, yeah, and how you know.

Samantha Pruitt:

it just is a bummer that many people don't see their life as a growth evolution, as a continuous opportunity for personal growth and evolution a continuous opportunity for personal growth and evolution. They don't, because of whatever limiting beliefs and ideas they have. So we're here to blow your mind today. If you're one of those people, for whatever reason, that's been part of your programming. It's not true. It's the farthest thing from the truth. At any moment, you can reinvent yourself and obviously we both stand for that solidly. But we really want people to understand that dreaming is part of that process.

Samantha Pruitt:

It's part of that exploration right and really discovering yourself. If you don't start by dreaming, you're going nowhere after that.

Polly Mertens :

Well, and I think, two things that come up for me as you say that One is A, you have permission.

Samantha Pruitt:

Samantha and.

Polly Mertens :

Holly, like we're the fairy godmothers. Whatever we give you permission to do this, you give yourself permission, for goodness sake. So give yourself permission to do this. And the second is a lot of us live in a narrative that we've inherited, a meta-narrative in our culture. Like you know, grow up, go to school, get married, have kids, house kids, job, whatever, and then, like the what after those initial phases gets very murky, right. Some people just like oh, I'm just supposed to do this thing that I started when I was 18.

Samantha Pruitt:

For the rest of my life, the what when all that shit falls apart, and that is not at all what's happening, because it's either it's called life taken away from you or you, by choice, said I'm not doing this anymore, and then you're like, oh, what now?

Polly Mertens :

now, what do I do? Right and so some of you've probably gone through. You know, if you're listening to this, you've probably been through some of these iterations in your life. Like life just isn't a straight line linear. It's not like A to Z and then you're dead.

Samantha Pruitt:

It's like no, there's a lot of detours and there's many versions of you many versions of you and so many versions we don't even know yet. Like I'm pretty fired up personally about who's Samantha going to be next and it sounds like I might have multiple personalities, but maybe there are multiple universes.

Polly Mertens :

Well, that's, and so, in this TED Talk that we listened to together, one of the fun things that this gentleman Gilbert, was it Dan Gilbert.

Samantha Pruitt:

No.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, Dan Gilbert and Dave Evans were the authors of this book. Well, I'll be sure to quote it correctly in our show notes. So forgive me if I'm mistaking that, but you know book Well, I'll be sure to quote it correctly in our show notes, so forgive me if I'm I'm mistaking that, but that you know, design your life.

Polly Mertens :

I think is their book designing your life, and they talk about this is a process like for solving problems, for you know coming up with ideas and it is a process, right? You know people like how do?

Samantha Pruitt:

how do you?

Polly Mertens :

you know, people get stuck in the how well, I don't let that dream that I had when I was 18 fester or bubble up in me, because how do I ever get there? And this is just taking it through a series of steps to see if you could maybe birth it, live it, live a piece of it, try some of it. Whatnot? So that's what we really want to introduce you to. Is a part of it. Some of it, whatnot? So that's what we really want to introduce you guys to. Is a part of it, right? So one of the things that we talked about, that we really enjoyed that they talk about, is, you know, when you're in the they call it the idea or getting curious phase, right? So there's five phases and the one is getting curious.

Samantha Pruitt:

It's like that's the first step, right? Yeah, it is like okay, get curious.

Polly Mertens :

And they say always come up with three ideas.

Samantha Pruitt:

Before you go into this, I have to drop something in here because that's why I was laughing. Yeah, because it's freaking hilarious. Yeah, 20% of the population is passionate about something. So what's the most annoying thing? Everybody asks you you know, you're a school counselor, you're parents, you're a mate, you're a boss, whatever what are you passionate about, polly? Well, obviously you should be exploring that 80% of the population is not passionate about anything or has no idea.

Polly Mertens :

So multiple things, it's like. Well, I could do a lot of things, you know.

Samantha Pruitt:

But so just giving permission out of the gate before we like tell them the steps, like you don't have to have a thing right now where you're like fired up, fired up, you don't have to have that to go through this. That's awesome.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, he talks about how, um, it's a dysfunctional belief that is in the culture. It's like, oh, you don't have a passion, okay, go to the back of the line, come back when you here. Yeah, and you might be 100.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, no hope for you.

Polly Mertens :

You know, oh, you don't have that passion thing that only 20% have. So just know that if you don't, 80% of the people don't, it's totally normal, it's actually more normal than having a passion.

Samantha Pruitt:

So then, the first step is getting curious. Yeah, whether you have an inkling about anything or not about anything at all, curiosity comes from nothing, it's birthed from nothing, and we're going to focus more on this.

Polly Mertens :

I should just frame this this kind of a lot of these processes they talk about can apply. You know you can look at your relationships or you can look at your health or whatever but we're just going to focus more on what you're getting up to in the world, like what you're doing your work or your service. Your passions your purpose whatever. So the first one is get curious and he says always come up with three ideas.

Polly Mertens :

So just like require yourself to ideate, and in three. So the first one is your existing life. Whatever you're doing, it just gets better, right. Like okay, so you, you do that, you get great at it, you learn some things, you expand it, whatever.

Samantha Pruitt:

Like that life in five years is you improved right so, and I guess we'd like them to be doing this, thinking about this maybe while we're talking, but also after the fact, writing this down. Yeah right, yeah, do this as homework, like, like what does the first life. Look like again now. Now I'm writing it down, taking notes, Tell me what does the first life look like?

Polly Mertens :

So your first life is your current life. Better, right, so optimize it. You know, see good things happening in it, whatnot? But it's you know. You're not like shifting careers or something like that. One's just okay. Whatever you're doing, just do it. Five years later.

Samantha Pruitt:

Double down, do it well and good outcome, okay, good outcome, okay.

Polly Mertens :

Second one alternative life and so one of the things you talked about and you and I, I think, believe this in the world of metaphysics and the meta-universe right.

Samantha Pruitt:

You've got multiple lives that could be going on right. There's all sorts of optimized versions of you, and that's one of the things they say is like. You know, it doesn't have to be what he was saying about the good is the enemy of better or something Right.

Polly Mertens :

So it's like, oh, you can, the best self, so this whole thing about people, again, like not having a passion.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yes, exactly Another incredibly limiting belief society tries to put on you. You better be your best self now. Are you giving this your best? Are you going to be the best? All of those things, as if there's one opportunity for you. Pick the right thing, polly. That you're going to be the best at, nothing else matters, bs. Talk about it.

Polly Mertens :

I mean, you know some people like we talked about. You know Simone Biles. You can be the best at things.

Samantha Pruitt:

We're not saying that Hell yeah, you can be the best at things. But even Simone Biles can be great at a thousand things. At a hundred things she can do whatever the hell she wants with her life.

Polly Mertens :

And so can you. Yeah, yeah, so give yourself permission. So second one is the alternative universe. The alternative which is hey, guess what? You can't do what you've been doing, like, no, it's no longer needed, no longer service, it's been taken over by robots or AI or something. So stop doing what you're doing and okay, what's your next thing?

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, it's no longer an option.

Polly Mertens :

Next, what would you do? What?

Samantha Pruitt:

does your?

Polly Mertens :

life look like. What would you do, and what would that life look like? What would you do and what would that life look like? The alternative like oh shoot, and it's probably something that you've got some skills at, maybe you did it in the past and you pick it back up, or it's just something it's like, oh my god, this is like a really big opportunity. I can do this that you've known about. Right, whatever, it's an alternative.

Samantha Pruitt:

Entrepreneurs are great at this because this happens to them all the time. Right, they have a business, it doesn't succeed and they must reinvent and reinvent and continue dream that's where a lot of dreamers hang out we love those people totally so okay.

Polly Mertens :

So the second one is alternative, universal alternative, you, not your best. Just what something else that you could do?

Samantha Pruitt:

so what you're doing now is taking away. What will you do now? Okay?

Polly Mertens :

yep. And the third one is I like this one wild card. Yeah, oh yeah, and I think of this as too, as like your dream card. You know, something that maybe you put on the shelf for a while or you haven't allowed yourself to dream. It's like oh, and so the I think of it more like a fantasy. Well, in the context, beautiful. The context is you know what, you've got enough money.

Polly Mertens :

You're not outrageously rich or wealthy, or something like that, but you've got enough money and you don't care what people think, so you're going to do what you care about. And what would that be?

Samantha Pruitt:

And it can be anything Because, again, there's zero limitations. What would it be?

Polly Mertens :

This is your life, your life, your design and what lights you up. Like life, your life, your design and what lights you up. Like what would actually feel good to you, right? One of the we didn't touch on this, but one of the early questions that they we you know there's a lot in that video that you can listen to in their book. I'm sure is wonderful. We haven't read it, but I think it's going to be great just hearing how this talk was. One of the questions is what is your theory of work?

Samantha Pruitt:

Why do you work? Why do you work or serve?

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, why do you work or serve?

Samantha Pruitt:

So that's a big question to pose to anyone. Yeah, and that's going to change during the course of your lifetime. The answer to that but right now today why do you work or serve?

Polly Mertens :

And he says try and get it down to 250 words. This isn't like a whole chapter or something. It. And he says try and get it down to 250 words. This is like a you know a whole chapter or something, it's just 250 words. What is the meaning of work to you? Why?

Samantha Pruitt:

do you? The answer can't just be for a paycheck.

Polly Mertens :

Well, it's like, you know, for a lot of people it's that and right. So it's like, yeah, sust, just sustenance. There's usually fingers or things or beliefs that are lingered with it.

Samantha Pruitt:

So what is your theory of work? Why are you working? I think a lot of people just have gotten themselves into a knee-jerk reaction, maybe, to a question like that. Because we do work to put food on the table and pay our bills and all of those things to sustain our families and things of that nature.

Samantha Pruitt:

Right so, we do work for the paycheck, quote, unquote. But why do you do that work, right? So whatever your career path currently is or your trajectory, if you're in school or whatever this is looking like serving in your community, why are you doing it in that place with those people?

Polly Mertens :

why are you doing it in that place with those people and these? And you know, I'd be curious if, if, before you started this, if you looked at your theory of why you work, like ignore what we just talked about, like you have alternative universes and wild card lives and stuff like that today yeah.

Polly Mertens :

So if you just said up till now, what is if you? If we ask you what was your theory of work, why have you been working these last 10, 20, 30, whatever years you've been working, what's your theory of work? And then we ask you again okay, so that that explains how you've lived and the choices you've made up to this point going forward. Because I think if you looked at a wild card life or an alternative life, if you allowed yourself quote to dream like we're talking about, your theory of work might evolve hell yeah, I hope it does yeah, it might.

Polly Mertens :

It might but does, because if it doesn't, then what happens? Limit it? Yeah, right, you get tied into the beliefs that got led you to where you are. Gotta get a paycheck right or, you know, feed the family or whatever. Look good to the people in my neighborhood, whatever you know well, two things.

Samantha Pruitt:

You get stuck in, you know, living a life that is not truly yours, but is somebody else's idea of your life, and then also, you end up, in many instances, feeling incredibly unsatisfied somewhere along the way, because you've attached your identity to this thing and what we're saying very clearly is you're a hundred things. You're actually could be a thousand things right, and that could still be in the cards for you at any moment right, you're not the one thing that everybody has.

Polly Mertens :

Whatever uniform you're currently wearing, whatever you know, if there's some initials before your name or title that you have on your business card, you know whatever I mean, those aren't who.

Polly Mertens :

You are right, that's a current role you're playing so what if you worked on the theory of why you, you know? So again, this wild card life is it's. It's an open door. It's an open door for you to explore anything that you've dreamt about, you've never dreamt about. You allow yourself to dream and you create a theory of work that supports whatever feels good for you, like I don't work just for a paycheck, I work because I have meaning in my life. I work to serve, I work to be a better human, to explore my potential, whatever, to express myself to express myself.

Samantha Pruitt:

To express myself 100.

Polly Mertens :

So what if you transform? So what would your new theory of work to support this wild card life look like? Right? And then I love this next phase. So first phase, is that getting curious? Three ideas.

Samantha Pruitt:

Anything more on that did we cover we covered that all right, so I'm so curious so I like this next phase is you call it prototyping.

Polly Mertens :

So prototyping and and what I dig about you know so it's like if we call this your dream lab for your life. Well, when you're in the laboratory, you have a hypothesis, yeah, and then you experiment.

Samantha Pruitt:

Hello, experiment, hello.

Polly Mertens :

That's the next thing.

Samantha Pruitt:

Your whole freaking life is an experiment. Otherwise you're just in the philosophy class, you're not in the lab actually Philosophy is like you just have theories about things.

Polly Mertens :

Lab is get that fucking shit into action. Let's try some things.

Samantha Pruitt:

Lab it up, put some safety goggles on. Let's go Get the blowtorch. Get the blowtorch, get the microphone.

Polly Mertens :

Chemicals are flying, things are on fire, smoke's blowing.

Samantha Pruitt:

But this is kind of some of the fun if you think really wild and crazy like that that we're really talking about Right. Get freaking outrageous. Try that thing, yeah.

Polly Mertens :

And if you, don't know how to do this by yourself, because whatever is you know that about. Give yourself permission, friends, like we have yourself permission again, go try it. So two types of prototyping that they recommend or suggest. That is helpful. One is happy in conversation. So what I forget?

Polly Mertens :

one of their five things is um radical communication, I think, and what that is is like they said, something about your life is explored and lived and found out in the conversations with other people. You're not going to just figure it out sitting at home and looking at your navel. Exactly it's like go out and talk to people, explore this. You know like the best of you is out there.

Samantha Pruitt:

You know what? I have a theory One of the reasons that people consume so much media. There's lots of dysfunctional things around this right now, but what I'm here to say, especially attuned with this message, is we have this innate human instinct of curiosity what is the rest of the world doing? What are other humans doing? What? Are other people's lives, like what are they experiencing? I'll follow them, I'll follow them. Or, Like you and I tend to binge watch.

Samantha Pruitt:

you know crazy adventurers and explorers and people that are doing insane epic things and we're like oh, that's a cool and then we go, we can do that Totally cool, right? We have this curiosity about the human experience, and the only way sometimes we find out about it is through books or through media or through conversations with others and seeing what is possible. Look at that crazy idea. Okay, so share your experience about how you got a whole life radical shift shifted.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, so one of so, as I said, having prototyping conversations. I wouldn't even say that I was. I knew I I was in a prototyping conversation, but one of the things the guy on this TED talk talked about is you can't just make decisions about your life and changes and whatnot, like you're in this laboratory right.

Polly Mertens :

And allow it to be more than logic, right? Or if you're not trusting gut decisions, and he talked about. You know you have the gut brain and whatnot and where one part of your ideations come from. You know a certain part of your brain but it's not connected to your Basal ganglia, the basal ganglia right, the part of your brain called the basal ganglia. Which isn't connected to your throat, like your words, right?

Samantha Pruitt:

Well, it's not connected to any other part of your brain, like your words, right? Well, it's not connected to any other part of your brain. Okay, that's freaking bizarre. It's connected to your limbic system in your GI tract because how it functions is Emotional.

Polly Mertens :

You have an emotional felt experience.

Samantha Pruitt:

It's only through felt experiences that that part of your brain turns on operates. Yeah.

Polly Mertens :

And what does it do? It says that's a yes or a no.

Samantha Pruitt:

For me, yes, right, it's that what we call gut instinct. But right, it's that intuitive nature or whatever you want to call it.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah that's a yes for me, go, go, go. Or I'm a no for that.

Samantha Pruitt:

I'm a hell no for that it's a physical reaction in your body from this part of your brain that is so damn important so I hear me, here's me in.

Polly Mertens :

You know, bumping around in life and you know a lot of what I think this guy would say is like you're, you go out into life and he's one of their other we'll get this later is bias for action. So I was at a Tony Robbins event in Fiji coming off of a getting to the phase of going through divorce turned out was going to sell my house. You know, didn't know that at the time, I kind of could figure it. But whatever I go to Fiji, I'm at a Tony Robbins event First afternoon having lunch with a couple of people sit next to this gal, she and this is pretty van life guy. So this conversation was radically new to me. Whatever she's like, what the hell Tell me more about this.

Samantha Pruitt:

Excuse me.

Polly Mertens :

There was nobody in the room all of a sudden, like it was just her and I, right, and I was my I he talked about. You know, people get on fire.

Samantha Pruitt:

This is not only back in the day when this wasn't even a thing at all, but also women here she was freaking badass, you were like excuse me.

Polly Mertens :

You drive around in a what and you do what. You go where you want, when you want, and you know this idea of remote work was not even a thing. What the hell? We barely have the internet. Who are you, you know? Like from another planet? It was amazing, and within six months, I owned one.

Samantha Pruitt:

I was like boom.

Polly Mertens :

I don't know what that is, but I couldn't leave that idea alone.

Samantha Pruitt:

Well, what happened is your basal ganglion lit up like a moth and your whole body reacted to that. And then your curiosity, you pursued, got educated, researched, figured out. What could this look like? Is this possible? Of course, everything is possible.

Polly Mertens :

Well, and some of it I know. You've been there in your life where you don't even. I didn't allow myself. I didn't know what I was going to do with this thing. I was like, well, I'm just going to look at RVs.

Samantha Pruitt:

And I literally bought one and didn't have a plan, and I still don't.

Polly Mertens :

Why do you need a damn plan? Plans are overrated, but I'm just saying that's how I've run my life up until that point and I'm just giving people permission like I know what it feels like if you are like I was a planner totally, and I was like no plan for this and you just bumble along right you're like oh, I guess I'm supposed to be doing this.

Polly Mertens :

Oh, I guess I'm supposed to be, you know, and I come back from the first trip and I was like I need to go back out, like I just knew it, I was like, oh, and I just declared it, I'm going back out for 100 days. I'm going to Colorado for 100 days there.

Samantha Pruitt:

that's what I'm doing, Right.

Polly Mertens :

Like that's how it happened.

Samantha Pruitt:

Right, anyway. So, aside from, that.

Polly Mertens :

But prototyping conversations Are you and I used to teach. Somebody would come up and say, oh, I want to own a restaurant. I'm like, oh, that's lovely, I know, isn't it. Though I know you like to cook, why don't you go interview some? Or I want to open a coffee shop. Okay, great, go interview some people that own coffee shops. Why don't you not just go sit coffee in their shop?

Polly Mertens :

but take them or get a part-time job there volunteer a few hours or whatever, or talk about people would come to your races and they're like oh, I'm going.

Samantha Pruitt:

For 20 years of my life, people have said you have the dream job, I want your job. That is the job I've always dreamed of. Your life looks amazing, Bob, and I'm like are you people insane? Do you want to?

Polly Mertens :

live in my skin for 24 hours.

Samantha Pruitt:

You're terribly confused, but I really appreciate it. I must be making it look good from the outside, but the funny part is they would say these things. It's very common. I still get it today right. So mostly around like event production and people have an idea when you're in the event business that it is a certain thing.

Samantha Pruitt:

Oh, it's all play and games and like oh my God, look at us living large, doing the thing, traveling around, creating these life-changing experiences for humans. And look at us living large, doing the thing, traveling around, creating these life-changing experiences for humans. And, yes, we do those things, but it is freaking work. I mean, it is a massive grind and it requires a lot, but people have, so I would say, very. I would not tell them all those things, but I'd say, well, thank you.

Samantha Pruitt:

However, there's a lot more to the story, right, and I'd love to like share that if you're really interested. Like, I'd lot more to the story, right, and I'd love to share that. If you're really interested, I'd love to share the story. But one of the things that I would always recommend is that they would actually, if they hadn't yet, volunteer at events. So, whatever type of events you want to be in or any type of event, show up and volunteer Volunteers are always in high demand and have an experience there and then start getting your feet wet and see, once you get behind the curtain, how much work's involved. Is this really as exciting as it looks, you know? Is it really what you thought it might be, or is it not at all?

Polly Mertens :

yeah, so the two things they say in prototyping, one is the conversations which would be talking to you, taking you out to lunch or whatever you're buying me coffee.

Samantha Pruitt:

I'm totally available for that, by the way.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, more readily daily. And then number two is having experiences, in whatever form, and not all dream alternative wildcard lives. Whatever can be 100% experienced, but you can get some, you know. So like. One of the examples he had is this gal was a you know tech executive or whatever and she's like oh, I want to go back and get my degree and start teaching, uh, whatever. So they're like well, why don't you go into some classes and see what it's like to be with students and stuff like that?

Samantha Pruitt:

And so she right, cause a limiting belief she had was that she was too old to go back to school and that millennials were mean and if she was going to be a teacher they were going to be rough on her and some other bizarre limiting beliefs that were totally blown away, of course, yeah so she goes and sits in a lecture, she's on fire and she's like I was so fascinated by what they were teaching.

Polly Mertens :

It's like, okay, that's a yes. Then ding, ding, ding, ding from your nervous system, right from your gut, saying this is a yes for you. Right, like getting those signals. But we don't get that just sitting in a room going. Oh, I wonder if I should be a restaurateur or watching somebody's posts on Instagram.

Samantha Pruitt:

What the hell? That's not real life.

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, and one of the things you and I've talked to and so the third one is a bias for action, and what you and I've talked about is like just try the thing, get out, like start, make a phone call, go, take step one. Right, you want to be an artist? Okay, take an art class or go talk to an artist or get some art and see how it starts to feel. Try stuff.

Samantha Pruitt:

It's a lab, I mean it's experiment Totally. How many flavors are there of?

Polly Mertens :

lattes in the world.

Samantha Pruitt:

I mean, every time you turn around, you go whatever, and there's like 10 more new flavors. Is your life at least not worthy of a freaking latte bar? I mean, how many flavors do you want to be trying over the course of this?

Polly Mertens :

really long, yeah, it is long, yeah, if you play your cards right, right, but yet precious life yeah, and I would say, you know, one of the things is people often put they think the finish line is way off in the future got all this time.

Polly Mertens :

I'll do it then when you know, and then it never happens right and so if you've gotten to this far and you're listening to this, we hope you've been taking these steps. So to reiterate, one is get curious. Write down three uh ideas. One is your current life better. Two is an alternative life can't do what you've been doing. Third is wild card card. Like what have you been putting off and you could do? Prototype it. Have some conversations, get into some experiences, start something, start a little bit.

Samantha Pruitt:

Talk to the people who are living your future. Quote, unquote and have a bias for action.

Polly Mertens :

Just being in a lab doesn't mean you sit and have theories, you experiment, you try things.

Samantha Pruitt:

You go after felt experiences and you feel them, just like you feel a hell. No, yeah, you can feel a hell.

Polly Mertens :

Yes, right, right and don't expect to know the answer and what was that one line, I don't know well don't expect to be right or have.

Samantha Pruitt:

This is it.

Polly Mertens :

You know, got the plan. Let me just, you know, execute the plan. Well, you know what did he say? Something like, no, no idea can live past the experience of life. Or, you know, execute the plan, well, you know what does he say? Something like, no, no idea can live past the experience of life. Or you know, like you bump into life and it's like, oh, it's got other plans for you.

Samantha Pruitt:

Right, we're totally so be nimble, keep your vision open, right. So as you're on this exploration in the lab and you're looking down the lens of the microscope you know putting things in the petri dish that have never been in there before don't forget to step back and look around the damn room.

Polly Mertens :

Right, and I just think about you know, I want people to have the experience of like a dream lab. Like maybe you set aside you know the start of it can be, you curl up with, know some nice music and you the idea ideation phase right should be very exploratory. You know being a good like when I wonder about things like this.

Samantha Pruitt:

Well, you do this on the regular. You do vision boards, you do, you know, you take time away from real life, quote, unquote, and give yourself the space, generally in nature, to like have the breath come in and have the openness and the ideas come in. What about these people who are just sitting grinding away?

Polly Mertens :

well, and that's where I think, in the world of frequency which everything is vibrating, we are a frequency, everything is vibrating at a frequency.

Samantha Pruitt:

There's nothing static in the world so good vibes, only here good vibes only this is everyday awesome.

Polly Mertens :

Thank you very much. Right, so whenever frequency you're at, it's like if, if you are literally a tuning mechanism, right, we're tuning into things. You and I talked about this before we hit record is like in this room that we're recording or in your wherever you're listening to this. There are literally radio waves broadcasting stations around you news stations, you know, rock stations, classical music stations, whatever. If you don't have the radio tuner, whatever frequency on, you can tune into one channel, another channel, or if you have it off, you don't hear it.

Polly Mertens :

Right, you, your body is like the same way. There's ideas out in the world that you can tune into. If you're at a lower frequency, you're going to tune into lower frequency ideas and possibilities, but if you raise your frequency, you go into that experience, the dream lab of like, like a wondrous child. I mean you see kids when they have their Sunday morning. You know they like, make a big tent and you know they're like, we're going to like you know, turn it into a castle or whatever, totally cardboard boxes and it's like their imagination's running wild.

Polly Mertens :

So allow your imagination, in a dream lab, to run wild, to be exotic, to be untethered to anything that you've ever done.

Samantha Pruitt:

That's hard to do, for really busy people it is kids or adults, any age of person if you're keeping yourself busy, busy, busy and it's worth it doesn't allow dreams to come in. It's true yeah, so this is space people make space.

Polly Mertens :

You know whether you do so. Um, you know you and I do, and I think a lot of people listening to this probably do. You know you do your end of year. People are great at you know intentions for the new year and stuff like that, and my December is usually at the beginning. The first couple weeks of December is recapping and recalibrating and regrouping and gathering. You know what was that year for me, and then one of the processes that I learned from a trainer was was what are you taking with you and what are you leaving behind in that year?

Samantha Pruitt:

right and then you allow yourself to dream into the new year like fresh slate, baby fresh slate.

Polly Mertens :

What do you, what do you want for your life?

Samantha Pruitt:

right and but it's about putting yourself in a good state, like you talked about well, I have so much resistance around people just doing it at the end of the year because being in health and fitness for so long and seeing that whole cycle that was incredibly nonproductive and remains still to operate in that way where people just think you know, I'm just going to wait until the calendar changes over and the magic this number on the end changes. The magic, this number on the end changes, and then I'm going to get busy building the life of my dreams, or the body or the brain or whatever the thing is that they're after right, you can start at any time, and we're just saying today is good, by the way.

Samantha Pruitt:

So if you've listened to this today. How long would it take you to sit down? Get out a piece of paper, write these three and I want you to read them again, because we're coming close to the end and I want people to literally be able to just fast rewind and then have the one, two, three homework, assignment number one it's going to take get curious 10 minutes

Polly Mertens :

yes, well, or whatever it is for you. You know three ideas, so you must come up with three ideas. Your current life, only better. How does it turn out in five years? And alternative, alternative life. You can't do your existing life, got to do something else. What would that be? You still need to put food on the table. All that stuff, right? Third one wild card. Your basic needs are met. Whatever you can do, whatever you want. Maybe reframe the theory of work. What would that look like?

Polly Mertens :

Second step have some conversations. The lab is not a place where ideas go to die. It's a place where you build these ideas and you turn them from thoughts to things, right. So that's, you're in the lab making shit. You're making your life right, designing your life and then putting it into action. So the prototype is okay. I'm gonna have some conversations. Let me talk to some people. Maybe some people are already doing this. You know, uh, experiences go out and you know, if you want to run a restaurant, go get a job, whatever. Next thing is have a bias for action. Start doing stuff. Just take a step. Make some conversations, get into action, and whatever pace you can, you know like if you're doing this on a Sunday, it's like oh, a lot of things are closed, I can't do it. Okay, whatever, like. But get, I'm having a phone call, I'm going to whatever or send an email that day right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Whatever, or book a ticket, or take a class or something- you know, one of the like secret weapons in all of this, as you're unpacking it again and just shining an extra, extra bright light on it is this aspect of collaborating with others. Oh yeah, I mean you and I know the magic of collaboration, but I mean our lives have transformed over and over and over and over and over in our dreams and our identities through collaborations, and so we offer that up to the world, that those are waiting for you everywhere in your current circle, outside of that circle, in circles beyond where you can even think to imagine that you might be one day.

Polly Mertens :

That is so good yeah, you know, and maybe there's classes out there that um just being around other people who are dreamers. Maybe there's workshops you could take. Maybe you know, call us, whatever you, or if you have friends in your life that they're also struggling, they're also in a stuck place or they're in a pivot moment or a pivot year or transition in their life. Do this process together. Challenge each other to drink Right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Without judgment, right Without giving advice, without anything having to be right, or Just high five each other Right.

Polly Mertens :

Like you're like be each other's best advocate and cheerleader and facilitator, Like how can I help you? Like one of the things we used to do at the end of our um.

Polly Mertens :

So imagine my classes would vary, but let's say there's 20, 25 kids or whatever kids, but they're young, young adults, whatever. So there'll be 20, and so what I would have them do is at the end, so they would have this. I did it in different workshops. Some days would be like all day long, some I would allow them. We did it like a multi-week thing and first day is like they get as far as they could making their board and then they take the pictures home and finish it right and then bring it back next time. When they came back or at the end of this long day, we'd say, okay, share your book with us, share your vision with us, and the instructions I gave the people who are in the audience at the time. If you were sharing, then this is what you would expect, or if you were listening, this is what I want you to do. After that person shares, when they're done, we stand up and fucking cheer like there's no like that's awesome and we would go.

Polly Mertens :

We believe in your vision, wow, and we would like send them energy, right. So it's like I believe in your vision, whoosh, right, and then we're just celebrating. That person would celebrate, so they'd have this experience of like my vision sounds amazing to these people Right and they get imbued and embodied with it too Right. So out in the world you have people acknowledging and confirming you should fucking do that Right. Like that sounds amazing.

Samantha Pruitt:

And these stories we weren't doing it for fake either like people's boards were super, you know can you even imagine if people were to do that in their homes with their children, as their children grapple with what to study and what to take and what sport to play, and blah, blah, blah, or in the freaking boardroom? I mean, if people were to rally behind each other like this without like, you should fucking do that. Let's get up to that, yeah. Yeah, it's a crazy-ass idea. We are all in on that Go.

Polly Mertens :

Susie, go, go on, do that.

Samantha Pruitt:

Can't wait to see how it turns. You know, that's so cool.

Polly Mertens :

It was really energizing. And I mean I'll tell you some of my students full-on went in Sure.

Samantha Pruitt:

I don't even know.

Polly Mertens :

I'm saying I heard about it, if you will, and it was designed for a reason you want people around you to support the life that you want. Be the biggest cheerleader for what?

Samantha Pruitt:

you're up to. You want to be surrounded by dreamers?

Polly Mertens :

Yeah, and people that support your dreams. Yes, they're dreaming. You're dreaming Like yeah, let's freaking do this Well, when other people around you are doing it, you have permission to also do it.

Samantha Pruitt:

You're like well, apparently it's normal. Everybody around me is dreaming All my parents came, immigrated to America and didn't have a damn dime right and brought two kids and came pregnant with me and just carved out a life from absolutely nothing. But my dad was super entrepreneurial. I mean they freaking tried everything. He drove across the United States. I mean it was just insane in hindsight to think about some of the things they did and how incredibly courageous that was.

Polly Mertens :

But talk about dreamers, no doubt Talk about dreamers, no doubt talk about dream and you know there's a lot. So when we talk about this, it just started to hit me um. So I've been a part of and I think you have too at different schools. Um, there's things called incubators, you know so entrepreneurial incubators and whatnot yeah and those environments are. You know the classic your, your idea is not only allowed to breathe, it's encouraged to breathe and you're in a room with other people that are allowing their ideas to breathe.

Polly Mertens :

This is an incubator for the seedling to grow into a full-blown business or whatever. So find yourself and incubate yourself with people that are doing what you're doing, or pull them together and you guys do this together exactly so exactly super fun, what super fun. What's the one thing? What's the one thing for?

Samantha Pruitt:

Well, the one thing definitely has landed on this piece around people feeling like they need permission to dream and getting maybe stuck in. It's too late for me, which is so wrong, so untrue Just let that go, let that go. But so I wanted to add that into the mix. But really, what I wanted to say for our real one thing is this part of your brain that I'm now obsessed with Basal ganglia. Basal ganglia Can you turn that damn thing on? People Like light it up. So the basal ganglia is part of your brain not connected to any other part of your brain, that only communicates with your limbic system in your gut so you know, that's so.

Polly Mertens :

It's not a thought that you're gonna have. Yes, you go out in the world and you bump into shit and it goes oh, that's, that's something you should do, you know. Or, oh, that feels good, right, you get a. You get a hit if you will, yeah. Or a signal no, oh, like oh, that's interesting.

Polly Mertens :

Oh yeah, no, it isn't like I should be a yoga teacher and you go and you take your first yoga class. You're like I suck at this. You know like, okay, then try something else. It's a lab, lots of experimenting going on be the laboratory.

Samantha Pruitt:

Let your life be the laboratory dream love all right, lady.

Polly Mertens :

What do you want to remind our beautiful humans?

Samantha Pruitt:

oh, my goodness gracious, how your life feels is more important than how it looks and remember.

Polly Mertens :

Every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.

People on this episode

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Polly Mertens

Co-host
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Samantha Pruitt

Co-host