The Everyday Awesome Project

63: Creating Creativity and Magic

Polly Mertens & Samantha Pruitt Season 1 Episode 63

Step into the enchantment of conversation as we explore how creativity can transform your daily interactions into moments of genuine connection and joy. This episode packs an insightful journey on what it truly means to infuse "magic" into our conversations and highlights the essential role that creativity plays in fostering deeper relationships. 

You’ll discover the importance of shedding the default survival mindset and embracing curiosity, which allows us to experience the present moment and connect more fully with others. We're not simply going through the motions of "how was your day?" Instead, we question how to shift these interactions into dialogue that is rich and rewarding. With practical strategies and inspiring stories, this episode invites you to engage in conversations that uplift, ignite curiosity, and foster authentic connections.

Join us as we delve into lively discussions about the impact of effective listening and the power of bringing playful energy to our interactions. We'll share real-world examples of how these principles can enhance your relationships, both personal and professional, and improve your overall well-being. 

By the end of this conversation, you’ll be challenged with actionable homework—concepts that you can immediately implement to create moments of magic in your everyday life. So tune in, and let’s uncover the pixie dust hidden in your conversations! Don't forget to subscribe and share your newfound insights with us!

Follow Coach Polly @getbusythriving and Coach Sam @thesamanthapruitt

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Polly Mertens:

hey, superstars, welcome back paula here and sam pruitt. What's up, beautiful humans today, samantha, creating creativity and magic I'm about the magic. Yes, yes, I love your story. When we were talking about this idea, you're like it's all about the dust.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, pixie dust. When we were talking about it, I was thinking you know when you think?

Samantha Pruitt:

about the word magic.

Samantha Pruitt:

Some people are just thinking that's kind of weird woo-woo thing Witches and cauldrons. Well, I could get one of those hats on or a magic wand or something. But when we say creating creativity and magic, what does that mean to you? And I'll tell you what it means to me.

Polly Mertens:

Well, I'll give you a little backstory, a little reference. So if you've listened to any of our recent episodes, so I've been in a new course series around communication and, thanks to Landmark Education, really enjoying those and learning how much of life is created in conversations in our communication.

Polly Mertens:

Created, self-created, listening and speaking with people. Right, and out of that, one of the last pieces of homework that I was really just steeped in and enjoying the last few days is the homework was like literally go out and create creativity and magic in your conversations with people. I read that and I was like, yeah, hello, right. So what that means to me is and so like just practicing it for the last few days, it's like, you know, first my mind was like, oh, I have to bring gifts and I have to. You know it. My mind was like, oh, I have to bring gifts and I have to. You know. It's like, uh, I have, you know, like try hard or something, or um, um, yeah, like, for some reason, I felt like, oh, you gotta be in a play, like, like, like, perform or something, it's just where my mind started to go and then, as I was trying it out with my, my little group, that I'm with you know, and they're like well, how are you going to, you know?

Polly Mertens:

and I was like declaring I'm like you know what? I'm going to play this so damn big. I'm like I'm going to like be a new person, creating creativity and magic in my life. And, and just as I said it, it was like I just felt like aliveness and awakening and I like allowed myself to be playful and be expressed right and creativity. Sometimes I think it was like I don't have that, like, oh, other people have it because they can paint or they can draw or they can make music and I don't do those things actively, right, like maybe.

Samantha Pruitt:

I could you do a lot of creative things.

Polly Mertens:

But yes, okay and so I was like okay, I'm not that, but I can still be creative and bring. Creativity is, like you know, sometimes creativity is just clever ways of problem solving. That's how.

Samantha Pruitt:

I think of it Like creative, solution oriented thinking, and especially when you're engaging in the communication, of that yeah, like, hey, there's a thing going on. How can we look at this differently, how can we resolve it, or how can we move through it, or how can we build this thing or whatever, like that whole interplay with other humans in conversation. That is creative.

Polly Mertens:

It's a creative act Right, Without judgment and drama. It's like it lacks creativity, Like you haven't opened, like you're either being stubborn, like righteousness, or I see it this way, why don't you see it this way? Or you're wrong, whatever right, or fixing, controlling, protecting all these things. But I love what you said, Like as you said that I was like creativity. Is you both agree to come to the conversation with your creative hats on? Yeah?

Samantha Pruitt:

Open-minded, open-minded, open-minded. And when you see a problem or a situation or something that needs to be resolved, even if it hasn't turned into a crisis or a problem yet, you know, can I be part of that process and I actively participate in that. Do I have something to offer? Do I have some magic? I could bring to the moment.

Polly Mertens:

Dude, the mojo right there, I love it. And I got the word curiosity, as you were saying that. I was like let's get curious, you know. And then wonder shows up for me out of like creativity and wonder and not log jammed Anything, but log jammed is how that feels, and in that space you sort of take the charge out of like our brains are locked in decisive and wrong and rules and all the BS. I love it. I love it. And then what about magic? What does what else? Does magic encompass it?

Samantha Pruitt:

I think about magic all the time, because I don't call it that. I don't even know what I call it, but I do feel like when you are out in the world and you're engaging with other humans. So last time I checked, most of us are doing that all the time.

Samantha Pruitt:

You know, willingly or unwillingly or whatever you know, generally I'm pretty willing in that space, but however our life experience is set up um creating a space where anything is possible. So, like having a conversation, anything is possible, anything could come out of this conversation. Sparks are flying, you know, and sometimes it's very subtle and muted, and other times it's right, like it's not always ba-bam right, but like being able to hold the space for it and being open to it and seeing the person, listening to the person, connecting to the person and then exploring each other's thoughts and ideas and, in a way, the magic comes out of whatever, wherever the conversation goes. Yeah.

Polly Mertens:

Like I'm getting like touched and inspired, like you're touched and magic could be just a real tender moment, like it could be two people meeting at a wavelength, you know, admiring a piece of beauty or, you know, acknowledging each other, you know. Or it could be radically alive, you know it could be like that was fucking magic, you know, and like something explosive happened between you two. Know it could be at all dimensions. It's between you two or in the space of a group. You know too, you can create magic that way as well.

Samantha Pruitt:

it's, I think you know a piece of magic that happens between people all the time, if they let it, is finding something in common. So if you're willing to engage in a conversation and be open and share whatever, right, you'll find these little streams of connectivity between you and the other person. And that's pretty magical. You know, like you don't, they could be a perfect stranger. Yeah, I've been having that a lot lately with engagements with strangers, either at events or in rei, or out at the coffee shop or whatever, right in gym, um, where they're, you're just like, hey, whatever. And the next thing you know, you're in this full-on combo and you have like, oh, we have this in common, oh, with that. And then you just it starts building momentum like the sparks or the pixie dust just starts like flying around. To me that feels magical, it's connection.

Polly Mertens:

Exactly. It's like you're going into a place and it's unexpected, like a little bit of surprise. The unexpected, the surprising positively surprising, not negatively surprising, but like, oh my gosh, I didn't see that coming Right, that's magic, Awesome, yeah. And so why I think this is an important topic, or I love this, this homework, and I wanted to bring it into our topic today is because our default as human beings we have a brain that is scanning for what's wrong and what to be afraid of is survival right, and it creates a state, if we let it, of surviving, instead of creating, instead of thriving Retraction Just kind of like numb or settled, or just barely a heartbeat, right?

Samantha Pruitt:

Well, I think that's what happens out of the surviving mode. A heartbeat, right? Well, I think that's what happens out of the surviving mode. People go into this repetitive life experience and zombie-like out of like a protective, you know mechanism, if you will Like I'm going to just go to the same place every day and eat the same food and repeat the same cycle of whatever their activities are, just out of a sense of like, protection and safety and comfort.

Polly Mertens:

yeah, this is what I know, because the brain loves what's known. It literally is wired to keep you from doing anything that it doesn't already know, like what you learned up to the age of around eight or ten. The brain likes all those things. It knows them, it's categorized them, they're safe, they're known, they're. It knows what it's going to happen if you engage in them or go to those places or talk to those people. Anything outside of those things that it knows, it's like nope, nope, nope, right. And so we sometimes take little baby steps that like, oh, maybe I'll try that coffee shop that's, you know, two blocks away instead of the one I always go to right. Or maybe I'll do the four o'clock workout instead of the five o'clock workout. We sometimes make those little micro changes and yay us.

Samantha Pruitt:

Look at us making leaps and bounds.

Polly Mertens:

But really, you know, so, just know. The default brain is scanning for survival and what you talk about was so brilliant. It's like those when our life looks like repetitive conversations with the people in our life, especially the ones we love the most, you know. It's like how was your day Great, you know. Or your kids, right. How was your day Fine? How was school day, oh it was good, you know. Or fine, right. Or did you talk to anybody? Yeah, no, you know. Or did you eat, you know? I call it the weather.

Samantha Pruitt:

It's hilarious about that piece that like repetitive conversation with people in your circles. You think you know that person because you talk to them every day and, by the way, you talk to them every day and you ask them the same questions, but also there's no actual. That's not, that's such a superficial connection. No, connecting, yeah, and that's not knowing somebody, yeah, and it's not exploring what's possible for your relationship with them and your connection to them. And it sure the hell isn't you expressing yourself either what you know, would you?

Samantha Pruitt:

tell for lunch. What are we having for dinner?

Polly Mertens:

what the hell is that like, do you really care about those things? I mean, like, is that what your day was? Yeah, you want to know if they're okay. You know, like you're digging anything. You know, did you go out in the world and discover anything that we should know about? What was the cool shit? We want to know the cool shit.

Samantha Pruitt:

You and I do this. We get on a call or even a Zoom, and we unload all the cool shit.

Polly Mertens:

Hey, we're online, exactly Because it's like I want to know you. I want to know you, I want to know how you are and what you are and what you're up to and what's not, where your breakdowns, and you know what are you learning about yourself and the world? And you know all that stuff, right. And there's just, you know, there's people in my life, like I'm just in practicing this for, let's say, I think I'm on day five or something, like it's becoming intolerable to have weather reports with people Like I had a conversation, you know, like my mom and I have a very long history. You know my whole life, right?

Samantha Pruitt:

And.

Polly Mertens:

I have practiced that weather report a lot and I can remember before this or in between the two classes was about two weeks in between having a conversation with her and she was doing giving me the weather report like a long one, like the whole day's weather report. First it was this, and then it was this and this is, and I a I was bored, you know. I was like not sorry, don't care, but like that's not what I care about, right, that's not.

Samantha Pruitt:

that's not what I care about, right.

Polly Mertens:

That's not what I care about. Like your, your, your, your daily log report that to you know, your computer, or something, but like tell me what mattered, you know, tell me what was special or what you discovered, or what you're, something like that. And so I had another call yesterday with someone who I, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm wondering, as I continue on this, this course of like, practicing, practicing, creating creativity and magic in my conversations, where this will lead. Because I felt I had a call with a friend that I don't talk to very often and she's a, you know, colleague.

Polly Mertens:

You know, we've never lived in the same town, hung out and done a lot of things together, but we know each other professionally and a little bit personally, and I just was having a little trouble getting past her weather, like I felt like I was trying to discover her a little bit, but there was a little bit of a jacket over it, like I'm not sure I want to tell you those things you know. And the answers were kind of like yeah, I'm fine, you know, and you could just tell it was like that's all I want to tell you for right now. Hopefully that's just where she was, like that's all I want to tell you for right now. Hopefully that's just where she was at that moment and that's not her everyday existence yeah, I think she might take that with her a lot as a protection mechanism.

Polly Mertens:

But anyway, so, and a lot of us do. I mean that's a bit of the default. It's a bit of the default to protect and justify and defend, control you, so you don't get to know all my. You know, mess inside.

Samantha Pruitt:

People see it as a weakness, which is nuts, so creating that safe space.

Polly Mertens:

So just know what our default is. But then when you get to the point, like I said, I'm to the point where these weather reports, these little daily logs, are just not satisfying, right, and we don't have to settle for that and that's what's beautiful about this. Like the amount of people in my class they were sharing, a lot of people had kids and they would have that weather report check in with their kids at the end of the day like over and and, and some of them were like my kids don't talk to me. And it's like you know, one lady realized she's like, oh, I didn't make it safe for my kids to tell me anything.

Polly Mertens:

Like I had rules and like hidden agenda that she discovered during the course. She's like, oh my God, my kids aren't safe to talk to me, you know. And so during the course she created some new agreements with them. She's like you know what? I realized I was doing this and that's not fair to you and I really want to know how you're doing. She came back on the last night. She's like, oh my God, my kids will not stop talking to me. She's like kind of like unleashed them, which is beautiful.

Samantha Pruitt:

She's like I love it, I love it Because they want to be seen and heard and she deserves that as well in that relationship.

Polly Mertens:

You know it's a two way relationship and she just didn't know she was creating, like she didn't realize how much of a role she had in dude.

Samantha Pruitt:

we've been programmed many, many, many of us I mean our upbringings are ridiculous half the time. I mean they really are, yeah, so it's amazing.

Polly Mertens:

You and I can have conversations well, you and I have done enough work on ourselves and we're like we want to relate to people, like we deeply care. Yeah, we're invested and so what we're inviting everyone listening to. This is like where you see those breakdowns in communication. They look repetitive, they look monotonous, you get bored in them, you're not really paying attention to them or whatever. If there's really love and affinity in that relationship, I mean you might, you might. You know you don't have to have, you know, rambunctious love and affinity for every grocery store clerk, you know. I mean, yeah, it doesn't have to be out at that level.

Polly Mertens:

Maybe you have the same one every week Okay, fantastic. Or you know you go to the toll booth every morning Okay, great, have an amazing conversation with the toll booth person or something like that, whatever, yeah. So I'm just saying, like, how you see the people in your life and relating to them, like declare for yourself, like I want a different level of conversation, I want a different level of relating to these people, I want a different level of aliveness in my body and in my relationships. I want to create something that I haven't had before, because I'm not going to settle for this.

Samantha Pruitt:

Let's tell them how to do it, let's give them examples of how to do it.

Polly Mertens:

I have no idea Well.

Samantha Pruitt:

I love some of yours.

Polly Mertens:

I mean you are a walking pixie dust fairy in the world, so you walk around just creating magic and spice. And I mean you're the roaring Leo Lion when you walk into a room, like, how do you do that? How does it happen?

Samantha Pruitt:

what is?

Polly Mertens:

what is your philosophy? How do you see? And it's not an everyday?

Samantha Pruitt:

well, maybe it is. I mean, it is kind of a general part of who I am in the world now, yeah, at age 55. So this isn't the forever you know, samantha, of course not, yeah, but how I have decided to evolve myself in my own life, body, brain, experience is to be that person that comes into the room and I'm hoping that there's others like me. I don't need to be the one who is like doing the thing all the time or the center of attention. I want to create a space where that magic can be shared amongst others. So sometimes I just notice I have to be the one to bring it, you know. But then once you bring it and you start spreading that pixie dust, if you will creating the space, creating the energy, starting to liven things up through connection, conversation, you will see a majority of the people will respond to that and start to do the same thing back.

Samantha Pruitt:

Oh, yeah, it's contagious the most horrible things you could be doing, like really fucking hard workouts and really extreme things, or even really hard business conversations or great stress situations whether they're personal or business or otherwise and we play in all these spaces can be transformed into a place of okay, we're having a little bit of fun into a place of okay, we're having a little bit of fun, it's funny, we're lightening this up. Now we can move through it together. It creates a completely different experience when things could be bloody awful.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, it really does.

Polly Mertens:

And I was getting out of you sharing with that. You know like I was picturing, like you have. You know how, um, there's a couple of renderings of this. But like, let's say, you're holding a fire, maybe it's a fireworks or a fire starter or something, and then you've got the fire and then you light someone else's little fire and you light someone else's fire, their candle or their whatever you like, their bottle rocket goes off and there's it, whatever and like you're the catalyst, right like you have candy we all can be yeah, you're modeling like being a catalyst for aliveness, being a catalyst for expression, being a catalyst for, let's like, experience something different, let's get curious instead of dreadlock, you know, like uh, hard locked into conversations that don't go anywhere, right, yeah, yeah.

Samantha Pruitt:

Or assuming things. People are just so good at assuming based on how somebody looks, or what their title is, or what they have said, or what you have witnessed or whatever, even if you really barely know the person. Like there's, these radical assumptions are made left and right. These stories we tell ourselves all the time, right, and we're not even giving that person a chance and we're not therefore giving ourselves a chance for that connection, for that growth, for that conversation, for that experience.

Polly Mertens:

You know, one of the things that I started to think about, as you said, that is when we think about that default brain that we can go into right, that sort of keeps us safe, keeps us protected, don't be vulnerable, don't look, you know, don't stand out, or something like that.

Polly Mertens:

It's like putting your neck out right, like we think of like, well, what if I do it and it doesn't go over? Well, like Samantha can do it, but I can't right, or people will think I'm stupid or they'll, whatever, you know, and we let that keep us small and so many people are waiting for permission to play bigger. And if we give ourselves permission to play bigger and it doesn't always, like you said, it's not always I mean you don't walk into church and just are explosive, you know, I mean you're, you find this I'm, but I'm saying like you don't want to like be so out of alignment or incongruent with the space like yours. Yeah, like it's acceptable to like drill sergeant people in a crossfit right, like I don't think people in a walk into I don't think maybe walk into a church when people are all oh hi, whatever, like drill sergeanting now, but like we're not necessarily drill sergeant but you're exactly, yes, you can be fiving exactly, I mean, and also just like living your life in color.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, okay, living your life in color with magic gives other people around you to, you know, permission to live their life in color. So sometimes it's just walking into the room, yeah, yeah, maybe you're not even saying a damn word, right? You're just coming into the space with the energy and putting that energy forth. Now, some people, it will just bounce off of that. You know that shell is so hard right now, they're so close it's going to bounce off. But a lot of the other people, a lot of people will absorb it, receive it, feel it and be like I want some of that, and they'll come in closer. And next thing, you know you have engagement, right, you have receptivity and it's not going to live.

Polly Mertens:

Don't expect it to live in your life. Expect to create it in your life. Right Like, have a listening for it right, expect to create it in your life, right, like, have a listening for it, right, like? One of my favorite proverbs is like don't find, don't expect to find joy in your work, expect to bring joy to your work, right, it's like then it's always there, right, or it's always there as much as you're creating it, right, but if it's like you're?

Samantha Pruitt:

creating it.

Polly Mertens:

These people have to. These people have to make me feel better. I walk into this place to feel better. I expect you know whatever it's like.

Samantha Pruitt:

No, I don't think so yeah, nobody else is responsible for your damn mood, or I mean seriously, and people do think, oh, these people are. May put me in a bad mood. This put me. You know you hear those kind of things a lot.

Polly Mertens:

Make me feel bad, they're really bringing me down.

Samantha Pruitt:

I mean, if you're amongst the bad vibes, exit the building. That's a real thing. Walk yourself out of that door.

Polly Mertens:

But also, like, go in and create something different and it's. You know, how do you want to feel each day? You know, if you're okay, I don't think we're going to let anybody listening to this to be okay with repetitive, boring, mundane conversations or that in your life, especially when those that you deeply care about shake that shit up. I'm sorry, right Like, you're here for more than dull, boring conversations. You're, you're up to more, and so, um and and like, and I do want to say you know. So one of the things that happened yesterday that I wanted to share about. You know, we've, we've done an episode. Our podcast is the everyday awesome project, right, because every day can be awesome and it's not. Every moment is awesome, and so, even in creating creativity and magic, there's gonna be times where it's like I got got nothing Totally. Yeah, you can have breakdowns, right. This isn't or just dark days dark moments.

Polly Mertens:

Yeah, yeah, it's the. You know, I was liking it too. Like you're, you're at like, if you like. I have a sleep tracker or on my foot on my Fitbit right, and it tells me my average heart rate overnight and it's like, oh, that's what my heart rate was over that night and I can look at the average over a month or something like that, right. So what is your if we step back from your life? What is the average heartbeat that you have? What is the average aliveness that you're expressing and experiencing? And can you raise the temperature? Can you adjust the thermostat? Can you raise the frequency of the vibration that you're listening for putting out? You know, it's this dance with the universe. You put it out, you put it out, it comes back, you know you know a couple things I want to say.

Samantha Pruitt:

One is when you're giving that example, do people understand how radically different the body and mind is when? Your body is one degree hotter or colder.

Polly Mertens:

Tell us about that.

Samantha Pruitt:

One degree of anything, 1% of anything, whatever. However you want to look at this, changes everything. Wow, right, because a lot of people don't think what's the big deal? Like you're saying, raise the average. Raise the average over the course of a week and your month and your year of your life and your years of your life the accumulative effect of that 1% better, 1% you know more joy, 1% happier. Or, like Dan Harris's podcast, 10% happier. Like you know whatever. Like that's massive. Yeah, the compound interest on that is insane.

Samantha Pruitt:

And then I have one more thing I want to say that just was coming up when you're talking, because I go into spaces repeatedly not every day and all the time or whatever bringing magical vibes, positive connectivity, looking for engagement relating to humans or whatever. On the days when I feel like shit and cannot and am just absolutely not me, like something is not right and sometimes it's a week and sometimes it's longer than that right I can go into those spaces that I invested in my gym, my coffee shop, my workspace, my friendships, my and they hold the space for me, they allow me to reconnect with that best part of me once again, because I have lit fires for them and pixie dust and now they're throwing it back. Now they're throwing it back. You know, I might walk in there and be like not feeling it head down in the funk. And they're like, walk in there and be like not feeling it head down in the funk, and they're like Sam, like cheers, you know whatever, and I'm like, uh, but enough time in that space.

Polly Mertens:

And I'm like, oh yeah this is, that's who, that's who I am, that's, yeah, those are my people, that's my vibe, that's what I'm up to, right, and the same can work in negative. So, you know, use this, like we're saying, for your positive betterment, right? So if you, you know, sink down lower and you settle for more and you don't create aliveness, if you don't, you know, play this game, your average just kind of naturally sinks because that default mind of yours will just get into super survival. And like hyper survival it's dangerous, right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Survival it's dangerous, right, it's dangerous, it's it's not a good playground, so we won't even talk about that so I think we should give them some very specific things to do, and I had one just pop into my brain that I've been doing quite a bit lately, since I've been spending more time with this rei, with this rei team.

Samantha Pruitt:

you know, yeah, yeah, um, and really a lot of strangers, a lot of strangers in that space and with the community and at events and whatever. I'm totally into high fiving people. Oh dude, I was never really a high fiver, I was kind of dorky, and what I really didn't like was this whole fist bump. What is this? Whether they evolved during the pandemic, we wouldn't shake people's hands because we're professionals, right, so we're used to shaking hands or even hug people that we have connectivity to, right, if we really know them. Um, but the high five thing, that's got some magic. It totally does. It's so bizarre to me, but I find I'm doing it all the time now with perfect strangers I love it I mean, it's basically like hey, what's up?

Samantha Pruitt:

eye contact, how you doing a little bit of connection, and like ba, but bam, give them some love. Yeah, people freaking love that. Because all of a sudden there was also a physical connection to another human being and it's like that I'm saying with this yeah, exactly Energetically, I'm saying to them energetically, I see you, I hearically, I see you, I hear you, I feel you feel me, yeah, like here, feel this yeah, oh damn, that's so good, try it. Everybody has to try it. That's my homework assignment. I love it.

Polly Mertens:

I'm finding strangers you know, because that body, so um, I learned in hypnotherapy and in different work around that I've been in the mental and physical embodiment physiology. I'm going to do it. If you're watching us on video, you'd get this, but a picture I'm doing like over my head, like a V, a victory, like right, like the victory. Like you see people like after they finish a race, right, like arms go up into the air. Right Like taking up space, like going to take off to flight. That symbolizes it's just a universal like.

Polly Mertens:

You look around the globe and it wasn't like oh, it started in America and it no, it's a human characteristic or whatever. Like the yeah, they've studied it and that victory right and so high five is like part of it. Right, like it's energetic and I think, for me anyway, I see it a lot as a team, like I'm on your team, we're on a team like, we're in this together. You know like and they, um, there's actually it's funny.

Polly Mertens:

There's a woman that I study who talks about relationships and she talks about men and where they carry their energy and different things and she says that men have like across, if you can imagine, like across the upper chest, like like your clavicle, your shoulders and whatnot. They carry this weight of responsibility and when they're succeeding, like, all this energy starts to enliven and like it, and it gets so pumped up it like comes out their arms Right. And so it either comes out negatively, like a fist pump right, it's like rage or whatever, or it's a high five or a slap on the ass. You know, like they have so much energy.

Samantha Pruitt:

That's politically incorrect.

Polly Mertens:

Which one? Oh sorry.

Samantha Pruitt:

Oh, yes, yeah. I'm just saying like yeah, yeah, yeah, you're giving an example.

Polly Mertens:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, giving an example, yeah, yeah, so, but like the, the picture is like it, it's so much energy in the physical or the spiking the ball. You know, like, like they spike the ball right, like, like have to get that energy out of them right. And so when we create that like we're bringing, we are creating the energy of that. Just like, hey, like, if you just have, like, you have in your mind now, like you can give yourself a sign, like how many high fives can I get before the end of the day? Like a playful one, right, exactly.

Samantha Pruitt:

Exactly Love that, and I haven't met anybody. I mean, I've been doing this probably for a couple months now. I haven't met anybody that resisted it. That was like, you know, gave me that, and then the other day was a teammate and I don't see them very often, so it was a way to like re-engage with them, and when I did it, I noticed that they were very kind of like soft and down, and so I actually grabbed the hand and held onto it and their eyes just went and they were like wow, okay, yeah, it was this moment of like hey, I see you, nice, you good, you know. So it was like that secondary, I'm still here. Yeah, we doing this today, or are you going home, yeah, or we need to talk about something.

Polly Mertens:

Let's talk, let's connect right so it can be a super simple thing like that.

Samantha Pruitt:

But maybe you've got an example from your own school of work and toolbox, where you go out into the world with whoever, a one-on-one or whatever, where you're bringing a tool or an example yeah, a tool basically that can be utilized for people who are not comfortable doing this generally or they can't really relate to what we're saying, like what could be some small things they could do doing this generally or they can't really relate to what we're saying, like what could be some small things they could do.

Polly Mertens:

Well, I want people to discover it for themselves, because what you and I like, what shows up for you and I, is our, our unique self expression. Those are ideas, those are ways that they could, but and it's unlimited, right. So I would say what I started noticing for myself, it was like a sense of energy in my body. You know. So, if I'm being aliveness, if I'm being self-expression in my body, what I started to notice is like I wasn't like pre-thinking a phrase I was going to say or like, oh, I have this little script and this will work on them. I was like here, this is the secret to magic. It was like I noticed in my body, I was listening for myself around what is creativity and magic and I just was like I'm going to be spontaneous with it, not whatever. And so I just brought aliveness and expression and creativity and magic from an unknown place and I would just.

Polly Mertens:

Sometimes it would be a laugh, right, and I just get them laughing about something, or I would point out something, or I would be silly, you know, or I would like whatever, but it was just me, expressing me, coming alive, me, bringing from inside. Just, you know, the conversation was always a little different, right, but it came, and it was nurtured inside of me, out into the world, and then they got it, you know, and then I go. Am I bringing creativity? You know, especially when I was working with a coach, one-on-one.

Polly Mertens:

I was like so is that creativity? Imagine you're like oh yeah, you know, and just smiling.

Samantha Pruitt:

And just smiling, like smiling, okay. So we need to say something that may be obvious, or maybe is not obvious. If you're walking around in the world with your head stuck in your phone, hmm, you're not going to receive magic. You're sure the hell not going to deliver any magic to the world. Okay, that is a magic sucking, draining, but also the best way, I think, to also become a deliverer of it is to be able to receive it. So like, when you're expressing and sharing these experiences, I'm thinking of the other person on the other side of you, the receiver, and then they're giving it right back to you.

Polly Mertens:

Yeah, like it becomes they start to laugh and they smile and like and they yeah, right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Well, if this feels weird or uncomfortable, it's because you haven't been receiving it, because you have been zombie mode you know, like blocking it almost.

Polly Mertens:

Well, I think the pandemic created so much reason. You know, like we were put, it was put upon us a little bit the separateness and aloneness and stuff like that, and some people just haven't come back out and gone like, oh yeah, there's a world out there, oh yeah, they want to engage. Oh yeah, it's up to me to engage with them. People do a really good job. I think you're bringing up a great point of the excuse that a phone in your hand, I don't have time for you. You're not important enough. This is more important than you, especially in those intimate relationships. Put that damn thing down. Like your life is. Is that person that's across the table from you, across the seat from you, whatever, like sitting next to you? It's it's if it's important and you want aliveness, you want creativity and magic.

Polly Mertens:

You want not settling in your relationship yeah take the first, you know, take the step and put that excuse down yeah, I'm gonna have zero tolerance on this thing.

Samantha Pruitt:

Um, any parent or partner, yeah, who is either at home or during dinner or whatever, I don't really care when it is having a moment with their loved one, whoever that is with their phone and then saying I don't have a good relationship with my child, partner, mother, whatever, excuse me, I wonder what he's creating. Yeah, and you do see that frequently. Oh, that's a bad people.

Polly Mertens:

Yeah, yeah, well, people can choose that. You know that's a pet peeve. Yeah, yeah, well, people can choose that.

Samantha Pruitt:

You know that's sad.

Polly Mertens:

That's one. That's a lazy excuse to check out of your life, to check out of aliveness, and we wonder why we have disorders and diseases and aloneness and depression and all these things that don't feel good. So phone down and don't even have it on the table Whatever.

Samantha Pruitt:

You know, like you know, when you're creating, you see people in restaurants having a meal and their phone. They have their phone. You're paying for this expensive meal in a restaurant for an experience. Last time I checked, I'm just not cheap. Don't eat a freaking hot dog at home if you're going to be doing that and they're like, do, do, do to do, and the other person's just sitting over there doing the same thing and you're like huh, because if you don't like each other, you really shouldn't be having dinner together.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, anyway, I got ranting because it just anyway, let's move on. Pixie dust.

Polly Mertens:

So I think one of the pixie dust. All right, let's bring it.

Samantha Pruitt:

So the visual I got on the pixie dust thing was for me immediately. I envisioned a rock climber with their belt on and their little chalk bag and basically they chalk up and then they climb the wall Before they do this really incredible difficult thing. They chalk up and the dust flies everywhere. It's so freaking beautiful and same for us at the gym and CrossFit. We dust up and chalk up our hands before we do insanely hard things and the dust just goes flying and there's something really magical about that. It's like we're creating some magic before the moment right, a little ritual something is about to go down, exactly.

Samantha Pruitt:

So now I want to get a little belt and hang it off here with some pixie dust and just walk around or I'll just do this okay, we're getting those.

Polly Mertens:

like we're totally getting. You know what that might be our first branded thing Like okay, we got the cars, we got some stickers, let's get some branded like pixie pocket dust Right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, and we can walk into any situation. Yeah, I mean I really envision like some hardcore situations where hard conversations are happening. You know, there's boardrooms, there's business, there's personal, there's all these things. I mean, one of my business clients right now is going through this really difficult time, you know, and so facilitating meetings and working through stuff. I would love to just roll on into that room and be like, yeah, and everybody would be disarmed.

Polly Mertens:

You know how I do that at my festivals is with balloons, not balloons, bubbles. You know, yeah, bubbles are great because like they come and they go right. It's not like, oh, there's all this, what did? Yeah, bubbles are great because like they come and they go right, it's not like, oh, there's all this, what did you leave on my desk? You know it's like, and then it's gone right, Blows in the wind, but I mean bubbles. Everybody, all, the littlest child to you know, adults that have their, you know joy and beauty cap on, can see bubbles and they get happy, right. So, yeah, and try it on on. You know, and especially with if you're in your own damn house, you can do whatever the hell you want, whatever joy and creativity, all that, whatever that looks like for you play with it like and again it could be just a smile like I see you, I'm up to what you're up to.

Polly Mertens:

I'm interested in you like, not just what you have for lunch, but how are you?

Polly Mertens:

right and and every, every human deserves this, by the way I deserve to receive this and I deserve to give this in the presence of, I deserve to be in the presence of yeah, and, and we get to create it right. So, you know, let's create new agreements. And I would say one of the things I like about this work with Landmark people is they have a lot of language that they use to remind you you know, like, what are you doing in the world? Who are you being in the world? Right, and a lot of it revolves around what are you committed to, what are you committed to? And we silently and not so silently speak our commitments in the world to our actions and our words, right, so, like I have a commitment now with my mom so that she feels love and I feel love, like we have love flowing between us. Right, and how I do that looks different every day, but I have that underlying commitment right.

Samantha Pruitt:

Sometimes it's going to Verizon three times.

Polly Mertens:

Yeah, sometimes it's going it's working on the phone yesterday, okay, an hour with customer service and this just turns into three different Verizon stores to get mom's phone worked out. And then sometimes it's just talking to her and listening, like how are you, you know, is there anything you need Right, or whatever you know? Sometimes it's like you know love, you know the five love languages.

Polly Mertens:

There's lots of ways to show love and this it can be as simple. Most of it is people want to be heard and seen Right, and so what is your commitment in the world with the people that you care the closest and the most about? Right, if you're committed to family love, or if you're committed to intimacy or care or compassion or whatever you get to create the commitment Like it can sound. Like, whatever your language is, we're having fun with creativity and magic, because that's just why not? That sounds fun, right? You can create aliveness in your body, right? That's one that I'm playing with right now, and so I would ask you like is who I'm being with the people I care most about? The best possible me Is it? And what are you committed to with those people in those relationships, and would now be a good time to do something about it?

Samantha Pruitt:

And be committed, without expectations of their response.

Polly Mertens:

Oh yeah, Thank you for adding that.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, because I can hear a lot of people's little crazy brains doing some things right now. Well, I'll do that. When she does that and when they do that, I'll do that. And then you know no, this is no strings attached. This is you being your best human in the world and you feel strongly, deeply connected to the self and what you want to bring to the world.

Polly Mertens:

And it's that you know that game of averages you know, like over the time, you know. So I remember learning about in the relationships how some people in love they see it as like transactional bank accounts. Like well, what have you done for me lately? Check more over here. Yeah, yeah, like oh no, you owe me because I've been doing all this stuff for you now, like these unwritten transactional registers, you know, like who's ahead, who's behind, right, not a good game.

Polly Mertens:

Who's up to playing? You know your games and if they're not, okay, go play with other people, right? Like you don't have to. Not all the people in your life are going to be up to what you're up to, but it's for you to choose and be up to the things that bring you aliveness. Right, and you know sometimes we may choose like that person's not worth trying to. You know, bring alive like okay, well, you know don't and again, don't expect anything, but it's also super fun, like I love how you, you just just being with you. Like you go into the world, whether it's the barista we've you know we talked to the baristas or just somebody in the store or I don't know. Like it seems like anytime we're around people or at the races that we go to, and you're just like hi, hey, what's going on? You know it's just aliveness walking. I can't wait to meet a new person.

Samantha Pruitt:

Yeah, well, they deserve to be seen. Yeah, and I also. I have a curiosity, you know, and not everybody responds well to this, by the way, but it doesn't bother me at all, I don't take offense. Yes, some are like get the crazy lady away from me. I'm like, okay, cool. There's definitely people like at the CrossFit gym who have moved themselves way down, way down in the gym, like they're all up in the corner and Samantha is going to be right in the middle. She is too loud. She might be looking at me and wanting me to high five her.

Polly Mertens:

I'm going over here where she can't reach me and I'm like, okay, I'll come find you later, expressing, expressing, creating creativity and magic. So, yeah, what's our? Anything else, what we want to say? What have we not?

Samantha Pruitt:

covered. I'm committed to being the one who brings the pixie dust love it, I'm committed. You are doing that you are doing till the day I die. I'm gonna be this old lady and people are gonna be like who is the crazy old lady?

Polly Mertens:

fine, by me, because what I, I, what I get, that some people may not know, it's kind of like you know if you, if you haven't gone to the gym and you see the uphill climb, that working out or taking on a race or whatever, like if you see that and you're like God, that result seems so far away for all that amount of work, right, and so you and I have had the benefit, like you especially, have been doing this. This is who you are, alive in the world, like you enjoy this. You know that. Yeah, law of averages. Okay, there's some people that are like don't take to it or whatever, but you know on the average, and the result you get, as you said, is when I'm not having a high day, I have such high people around me that my average still stays high. Yeah, yeah, 100%, no downers, no downers, no ducks. Okay, where should we leave these people today?

Samantha Pruitt:

What's the one thing?

Polly Mertens:

I think the one thing was that question, and I'll ask it again, because you guys take this away as homework. This is not just like, oh, listen in and yeah, click off and okay next, like do something with this. Like you, you tuned into this for a reason. There's something you're supposed to get out of this. If you got out one thing, great, but some homework for you is ask yourself is who I'm being with the people I care most about? The best possible me and what would I feel more alive being and you get to choose. Creativity and magic is there to try on. What would yours be?

Samantha Pruitt:

yeah I think so my assignment is get some damn pixie dust, start chalking up your hands and shooting it around.

Polly Mertens:

I literally have these bags. You can get them on Amazon.

Samantha Pruitt:

There are these bags. Oh, this is happening. I'm going to get one at REI tomorrow. Watch me.

Polly Mertens:

So there's these bags that you can get. You know how I think, like kids' applesauce comes in. You know you can get these containers that have a little twist-off thing and it's like this colors I have silver and pink. Yeah, body glitter I mean, but it doesn't have to look that well, you know it can. If you're, if you're playing in awesome, awesome, you know you're up to everyday awesome right, so find your thing all right. My, what do we want to share with them as our closing?

Samantha Pruitt:

Oh man, People, if you don't know by now how your life looks, it's not as important as how it feels.

Polly Mertens:

Every day is your opportunity to find your awesome.

People on this episode